"My Conscience is kinda an Asshole"

You know whenever I imagine a conscience I imagine the movie Pinocchio and his little grasshopper friend Jiminy Cricket. If you have ever seen the movie then you probably recall that he was Pinocchio's Conscience and he was suppose to help guide him with wisdom and shit...Kinda like his own personal Buddha or Ghandi maybe...

I would like to say for the record that is not what the universe gave me. No instead the universe gave me a conscience that acts a little more like this:

Me: Just minding my own business, maybe in a library reading a book
Conscience: Oh hey Ashley, long time no talk...Just kidding (Haha), Hey...hey...Remember that time you you ripped your pants and everyone saw your underwear...
Me: Ignoring it, and continues reading...
Conscience: You remember? I mean you really split them good! And everyone...I MEAN EVERYONE saw it happen.
Me: Deep sigh, continue to ignore but losing focus...read same sentence ten times.
Conscience: Hey...Hey...You remember how everyone laughed. I was so embarassed for you...You must have been really Embarassed.
Me: OKAY I SHOULD HAVE INVESTED IN PANTS THAT FIT ME! ARE YOU HAPPY?! NOW SHUT UP!
Conscience: Silence...
Me: Finally!
Conscience: Hey...You remember when you peed your pants in the school bathroom...


Yeah so as you can see I got stuck with this asshole. So today my motto is this:
When your inner monologue is getting to be a bitch, remember that past is the past and there isn't any use crying over spilled milk.

This is my Manifesto